Monthly Archives: October 2011

Presidents Medals//The finest generation of copy-paste

Yo yo to mi peepool in the AAD ; )

Next time you want to make a project/parody so everyone can have a laugh with please consider the following guide:

a. find a f*cking amazing reference

b. make sure its a piece of work much better than you can ever imagine making yourself

c. make sure you have no idea what is it about

d.or simply follow the steps of a pokemon known as Rahul Vishwakarma from Oxford (cough cough) Brookes

I suppose you are all familiar with the Presidents’ Medal winner of 2009 Nicholas Szczepaniak and his “Defensible Architecture” project.
Anyway, the point is not to praise his work rather than have a laugh or two with all these stupid little bitches that go around crying “ooooh thats just a speculation, ooh dude thats so superficial, arggh I wish i could do something ectoplasmatic for once so i can look cool, pff im a nooob, etc” ….and then end up working for more than a year on a pure copy-paste mode.

—-0— There will be more posts about PM entries of 2011 mainly  composed by “hahah” “OMG” “WTF” or “LOL” comments as done in the past. However here we thought it would be unethical  to not intervene!

- A Defensible Architecture by Nicholas Szczepaniak  (COPY!) (+)
– A Theatre Of Waves: Continuing Profane Rituals by Rahul Vishwakarma (PASTE) (+)

1)Lets see how the design process of Rahul started. He followed carefully the above list and analysed one of his favorite projects as seen bellow

ALL he ever wanted:
was to do something that might look A BIT LIKE THIS !!
IS IT THAAAT BAD??

We can go on and talk about the difference between copying and stealing something but is useless since you bots prefer to scroll up and down than think for a minute. Dont worry the images are self.explanatory

where the f*ck to start and where the f*ck to finish?

If you still dont get that is made of some elements that MOVE and some elements that are VERTICAL and THIN you can read a bit of Rahul’s description (its all about narrative duuuude)

.…..They glisten as salt crystals refract the azure-tinted spectacle.

My feet, pressed against uneven ammonites, throb as I pass motionless Lymers and seasoned visitors watching a passenger-laden boat voyage towards a MONUMENTAL engine. 

Rhythmical mechanical creaking and groaning overwhelming calls from overhead seagulls, as fish/bird-shaped counterweights slowly appear from the sea. Using binoculars I witness gears and cogs tirelessly pumping intertwined machines; silhouettes Fishing, Diving, Chatting, Pointing, and Staring

Bellow: The finest of experimentation. Up to you to check whos the COPY and whos the PASTE

We could continue writing but is sad and have better things to do like: have some tea with Renzo’s wife or even better play fetch with the 3 new interns of Bernard. All we could say is that Rahul Vishwakarma and his fantastic project in the middle of nowhere will not win…..since there are NO BIRDS in the drawings. Its obvious that Nicholas had an edge with his birdy drawings

ciao for now,

Rahul you can either

A.paint yourself blue and jump in the sea
B.read AA’s catalogue for some change this week

About these ads

Dex+3 Int+8 Cha+4 Str+6 // The CHICKEn BIBLE

Waadup stupid architecture bitcheez?

We decided to share with you a few extracts from THE BIBLE / our own personal handbook with insights on “how to make it” in our field, composed after numerous interactions with firms such as OMA, AMO, MCA, MAD, Foster & Partners, Diller & Scofidio, Zaha Hadid’s left hand (a.k.a Patrick Schumacher’s right hand) and our first internship as chinese slaves in JN’s office.

——o—–

IN MY BOOK :

1.Always sketch and speculate on the train/plane/private jet, while going from one place to the other. These are your most creative moments.   + You look cool

2.When rendering:

a.Always pass at least a day or two testing possible  views and cameras for your 3d scene.

b. ALWAYS save test sceneports.

3.When producing a presentation/competition document, ALWAYS print it as small as possible. Thats when the true beauty of your drawing comes out.

4.Your body must be fit at any time. ALWAYS go to the gym.
(our scouting team reports: that Tobias Klein used to hit the gym twice a day as a student)

5.So must be your mind. Decompress often.
Intense club sessions between work will boost  ur creativity up to 400%

6.Every self-respectful architect wakes up with the following.

a. gay style tea (kusmi, of course)

b. checking emails for at least 2 hours

c. replying to emails for at least 2 hours

d. F5

7. Drugs give you the illusion of being creative and uber cool.
Its a win – win situation!

8.Develop your multi-tasking skills
a.It is said that Peter Zumthor is able to breathe and think at the same time!

b. When Hernan Diaz Alonso is running good can breathe and loft at the same time

c. Bjarke once did a diagram that looked also as a drawing(AT THE SAME TIME)

d.Bjarke again, using a mouse once : rotated, pushed and scaled(1D) his overworked cubic 3D model (AT THE SAME TIME)

 9.There is nothing cooler for your iPhone’s homescreen than one of your drawings/renders.The smaller, the better…

10.If any of you have ever even downloaded Autocad app  for iPhone/Pad admitt it. U r clinically retarded.

11….

+bonus+

Today’s most popular term leading to our blog through Google has been

“architecture bitch”

Sculpture + Robotics + New Media

whaaad up wannabe architects ?

I know you expect a funny, aggressive and sarcastic post on the architectural community. However from time to time sharing something amazing with you will get you a bit smarter and hopefully more creative; since your all-time reference is the Bartlett year book.

Anyway stfu and pay your respects to Christiaan Zwanikken. (+)

The Dutch kinetic artist and biomechanoid zoologist resurrects deceased wildlife by reanimating the skeletal remains with servomotors and robotic engineering. He breeds these new species in a 400-year-old monastery located in a remote village in Portugal. He also works and lives in an warehouse that equally dates back several hundred years in Amsterdam.

His work has been widely exhibited nationally and internationally and can be found in numerous public and private collections.

Zwanikken’s installations are like interactive Wunderkammers, configurations of hybrid, techno-animalistic figures, that come to ‘life’, responding to the viewer and to each other. Zwanikken plays nature – against artificial – against viewer removing any authoritative role: his hierarchy is governed by a different order. Due to the unpredictability of the computer-aided elements, it is not certain who responds to whom, and who is looking or being looked at.

By making technology seem to be ‘out of control’, Zwanikken ironizes the hype around interaction in media art and the illusion of smooth-running communications. As a rule his installations demonstrate human or animal conduct and thus serve as a handle for investigating and critiquing nature and behavior. His fusion of organic and inorganic materials mashed with interactive technology demonstrates the evolution and de-evolution of sculpture in the twenty-first century.

 *NO BONUS in.this.post*

stupid architect by Google

for this post we did something super innovative and super difficult. A google search. It took about 0.12 seconds and up to 5 minutes to choose the following pictures

**SPECIAL BONUS**

MONSTER*Kill // bullshitting other fellow bloggers

Yo,

how are you my little cyborgian trolls.?
Making fun of other people & their ideas or work is still a cool activity. The whole thing gets to a new level when ur victims do not get your no-life hobby and try to encounter you in a normal discussion. Furthermore, level up^^ is gained only when the victim realizes you are sarcastic but still tries to encounter you in a normal discussion.

We have a very long library of “comment-reply” situations while just posting bullshit to other blogs. Its time we reveal a few examples.

———- o——

1.This little guy updated his blog with his new creation

Future-Giraffes:Well, I agree on the progress idea, but I think your drawing is also helping to reinvent underfund edges of mental/or real spaces. keep the radical work      (hahhahahahah)

Edward Bedinghaus:Thanks for the insight about the undefined edges between real and mental space. Im working on a design project and may have to give that concept more consideration

———- o——

2.This pokemon decided to post the photo of a super radical concept

Future-Giraffes:Im sorry to tell you but these two case studies do not struggle to find their place in the metropolis’ kingdom. They are amplifying probabilistic thresholds so they can survive/adapt in the so called metropolis (hahahahahha)

Giovanni Cervi:Maybe you are right. But i really think they represent our inner life and soul, not just structures (LOL!)

———- o——

3.This pokemon shared with us his recent masterpiece

Future-Giraffes: Great drawing! you have successfully implemented distributed methodologies with your technique. keep up the radical work!

Titirangi Storyteller: Gorgeous! (hahahha)

Cameravagrant: Very cool! Seems like you are multi-telented (WHAAAT?)

———- o——

4. OMG this troll is still sharing useless inventions like a female tie

Future-Giraffes: Wondering if THIS can help to reveal bleeding-edge mapping of the human body? (bitch pleaase)

Pedro Salma: yeahh, that’s right!! (Thats what im talking about hahaha)

** + a few bonus pics **

(jorge THE BULLSHIT!)

(our tag system seems to be working)

(yo)

(neri THE LESBIAN oxman)

Event Alert!//THE POOh in Paris

We are happy to let you know that we just received Winy’s official invitation for his lecture in Paris!
As future-giraffes team we are really looking forward to the event!

Who knows. Maybe we are lucky enough and going to hit some fresh ink in Paris with THE POOH.


NOTE*

IF you dont already know time & location
you are not supposed to

(please dont ask for that info at any of our admins)

a.k.a Site Frank Specific

Dany//the boy who designed the pyramides

Again,

one of the “one and onlys”

daniel libeskind a.k.a Dany The Triangle  or Sharp.Angles

will have the honor to be featured in a special post in the near future.

[-COMING SOON-]

Late night story// Will the Real Body Please Stand up?

After a messy weekend gaining a few intelligence points would not hurt any of you little bots.
-If you dont understand the text dont worry, you can always do some name dropping to impress chicks studying fashion or media.
-If you get it; good for you. Get hold of the book and enjoy


Schizophrenia as Commodity Fetish

Let us begin with a person I will call Julie, on a computer conference in New York in 1985. Julie was a totally disabled older woman, but she could push the keys of a computer with her headstick. The personality she projected into the “net”–the vast electronic web that links computers allover the world–was huge. On the net, Julie’s disability was invisible and irrelevant. Her standard greeting was a big, expansive “HI!!!!!!”. Her heart was as big as her greeting, and in the intimate electronic companionships that can develop during on-line conferencing between people who may never physically meet, Julie’s women friends shared their deepest troubles, and she offered them advice–advice that changed their lives. Trapped inside her ruined body, Julie herself was sharp and perceptive, thoughtful and caring.

After several years, something happened that shook the conference to the core. “Julie” did not exist. “She” was, it turned out, a middle-aged male psychiatrist. Logging onto the conference for the first time, this man had accidentally begun a discussion with a woman who mistook him for another woman. “I was stunned,” he said later, “at the conversational mode. I hadn’t known that women talked among themselves that way. There was so much more vulnerability, so much more depth and complexity. Men’s conversations on the nets were much more guarded and superficial, even among intimates. It was fascinating, and I wanted more.” He had spent weeks developing the right persona. A totally disabled, single older woman was perfect. He felt that such a person wouldn’t be expected to have a social life. Consequently her existence only as a net persona would seem natural. It worked for years, until one of Julie’s devoted admirers, bent on finally meeting her in person, tracked her down.

The news reverberated through the net. Reactions varied from humorous resignation to blind rage. Most deeply affected were the women who had shared their innermost feelings with Julie. “I felt raped, “ one said. “I felt that my deepest secrets had been violated.” Several went so far as to repudiate the genuine gains they had made in their personal and emotional lives. They felt those gains were predicated on deceit and trickery.

The computer engineers, the people who wrote the programs by means of which the nets exist, just smiled tiredly. They had understood from the beginning the radical changes in social conventions that the nets implied. Young enough in the first days of the net to react and adjust quickly, they had long ago taken for granted that many of the old assumptions about the nature of identity had quietly vanished under the new electronic dispensation. Electronic networks in their myriad kinds, and the mode of interpersonal interaction that they foster, are a new manifestation of a social space that has been better known in its older and more familiar forms in conference calls, communities of letters, and FDR’s fireside chats. It can be characterized as “virtual” space–an imaginary locus of interaction created by communal agreement. In its most recent form, concepts like distance, inside/outside, and even the physical body take on new and frequently disturbing meanings.

Now, one of the more interesting aspects of virtual space is “computer crossdressing.” Julie was an early manifestation. On the nets, where warranting or grounding, a persona in a physical body, is meaningless, men routinely use female personae whenever they choose, and vice versa. This wholesale appropriation of the other has spawned new modes of interaction. Ethics, trust, and risk still continue, but in different ways. Gendered modes of communication themselves have remained relatively stable, but who uses which of the two socially recognized modes has become more plastic. A woman who has appropriated a male conversational style may be simply assumed to be male at that place and time, so that her/his on-line persona takes on a kind of quasi life of its own, separate from the person’s embodied life in the “real” world.

Sometimes a person’s on-line persona becomes so finely developed that it begins to take over their life off the net. In studying virtual systems, I will call both the space of interaction that is the net and the space of interaction that we call the “real” world consensus loci. Each consensual locus has its own “reality,” determined by local conditions. However, not all realities are equal. A whack on the head in the “real” world can kill you, whereas a whack in one of the virtual worlds will not (although a legal issue currently being debated by futurist attorneys is what liability the whacker has if the fright caused by a virtual whack gives the whackee a “real” heart attack).

Some conferences talk of a time when they will be able to abandon warranting personae in even more complex ways, when the first “virtual reality” environments come on line. VR, one of a class of interactive spaces that are coming to be known by the general term cyberspace, is a three- dimensional consensual locus or, in the terms of science fiction author William Gibson, a “consensual hallucination” in which data may be visualized, heard, and even felt. The “data” in some of these virtual environments are people–3-D representations of individuals in the cyberspace. While high-resolution images of the human body in cyberspace are years away, when they arrive they will take “computer crossdressing” even further. In this version of VR a man may be seen, and perhaps touched, as a woman and vice versa–or as anything else. There is talk of renting prepackaged body forms complete with voice and touch . . . multiple personality as commodity fetish!

It is interesting that at just about the time the last of the untouched “real-world” anthropological field sites are disappearing, a new and unexpected kind of “field” is opening up–incontrovertibly social spaces in which people still meet face-to-face, but under new definitions of both “meet” and “face.” These new spaces instantiate the collapse of the boundaries between the social and technological, biology and machine, natural and artificial that are part of the postmodern imaginary. They are part of the growing imbrication of humans and machines in new social forms that I call virtual systems.

from the book,
Cyberspace First Steps by Michael Benedikt

so sad that is funny

good morning.
the following post will be structured only:
by images and some “hahahh”
Just woke up.
The following images made my day
hahahaha

hahahahahahah


hahahahhahahahah

hahahahhahahahah

hahahahh

hahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahaha

SUPER BONUS!!!!!

[yes all the above images are entries for the 2011 Zombie Safe House Competition. PLEASE visit their site here (+) and vote a few projects so they CAN DO IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR!hahhahah]